i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
