I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i drank out of a bidet.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
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I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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