So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize