She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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