I wish my penis had an off switch
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
