If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
