Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it