I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings