how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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