NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
