Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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