he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
