THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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