I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
