What a fucking waste of an outfit
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
