So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
