honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
