I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
