So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a shit load of segways right now
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize