THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize