Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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