Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
