We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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