Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
