Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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