Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
