Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
