we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
