Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
