she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize