were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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