her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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