All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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