He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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