And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
