Kiss
Puke
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
