Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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