I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
