Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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