Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
