I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize