it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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