I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
