cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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