glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
