she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
