Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My dick has a subreddit
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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