you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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