everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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