I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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