Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
