I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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