dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
