Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
