thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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