I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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