I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
