I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
