dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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