You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it because I queefed?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
