dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
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So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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