i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore