I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
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but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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