i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
