Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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